How many times have we been asked, have we asked or have we wondered, how can/do/should we balance it all?
Marriage, motherhood, work, ministry, friendships, etc.
The older I get, I have begun to realize that it’s actually NOT about balance, it’s about priority.
You see, balance is holding two things, were the weight is equally distributed and you don’t lean one way or the other, BUT what two things are you holding at equal weight?
We can only balance two things at a time, right?
Unless we’re some kind of cirque du Soleil act, most of us can’t also use our toes to hold more things and keep our balance with our heels and/or our elbows. Lol
(And if you CAN do that, I wanna see, bc I love cirque du Soleil type things 😆)
If I’m balancing my marriage on one hand and my girls on the other, my relationship with my parents/brother/friends, will suffer. I won’t much have time for ministry, personal development, or other things either.
My marriage and my children are the things I hold closest to my heart, they are the most important persons in my life. However, only focusing on them, pushes Jesus to the side as well.
What good am I to my husband and my daughters, if my time with Jesus is scarce?
Because He’s the only one who can calm my crazy, fill me with peace and refresh my heart, mind and soul.
I don’t know about you, but when I’ve gone days without really spending time in God’s presence, it shows, and it shows big time!
My temper is short, I’m easily agitated, I feel exhausted, I’m stressed, I get a little selfish 🤦🏽♀️, my anxiety revs up to level 100, and the list goes on…
Anyway, having said all that, is what has brought me to the conclusion that it really is about priority.
The number one priority, above anyone and anything else in this life, should always be Jesus.
Number TWO priority, is my husband and our relationship.
Number THREE priority are my girls.
And then everything else, all other relationships, friendships, ministry, duties, etc., are what follows.
When I start my day, this is how my focus should be directed. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I do this consistently.
Truth is, I don’t and I then fall into the, well let me balance it all, trap.
I say trap because I have this mental note of EVERYTHING that needs to get done, only to find that I accomplished like 2 things. It leaves me feeling like a failure at the end of the day, and like, why do I even bother with anything?!
Am I the only one? I don’t know, I hope I’m not ha!
We cannot balance it all! It’s not possible, to balance all of our relationships, duties and responsibilities. There is always going to be one, two or three things that suffered today.
The trick is realizing that it’s OKAY.
Trust me, if I could make sure that everyone was happy and not have something to whine or complain about in this house,
have not one speck on the floor,
have spent time in personal development
have met up with my friend I haven’t seen in a couple weeks
have worn something other than the same workout pants I’ve been wearing for the last 3 days
Actually work out in said workout pants
At least put some concealer on,
Have ALL… ALL the laundry done, folded, hung and put away with no more left to wash,
have dinner made and ready to eat as soon as my husband comes home from work
AND, AND, AND!!!
I would share with you all, my secret!!
I’d probably make millions off the book I’d write about it.
But I don’t, sadly 😩
My point is, write a list of the priorities in your life.
Then, write out how much time you are going to set aside for each one on a daily basis.
Sometimes, they won’t always be the same priorities for that day or week. (Aside from Jesus and family, they are always or at least should always be a priority).
When you get down to things like social media, you realize how much time you’ve actually wasted there and can then set aside time specifically for it when you just want to veg out. Cuz there’s nothing wrong with that!
Right now, one of my biggest priorities, is getting our house in order. Switching out the girl’s clothes, and organizing it all. De-cluttering and making sure everything has its place.
It’s hard, stressful and so so time consuming, but once that’s out of the way, I can then prioritize other things.
Ah there’s nothing I want more right now, then to not have to hang or fold one mo thang!! But if doesn’t get done now, and become a priority now, it’ll be a thing lingering around for months!!
Anyway, this was as much an encouragement for me, as I hope it has been for you!
In summary, don’t try to find the balance, just prioritize, it’s so much simpler that way. It doesn’t feel overwhelming, it’s just “a matter of fact,” in the present. I truly think, we are much happier when we realize that we cannot balance everything. We are human, and were not made to do everything alone or all at once because that would be kind of chaotic, right?
Lean on the Lord when you do find yourself overwhelmed and feel like giving up. Trust that you are not alone!
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven…What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 9-12 NLT